Betwixt-isms

What does Malaysia’s Independence mean to you?

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Bet that made everyone escape. MWHAHHAHA.. oh.. wait.. no one will be reading this then. Ah well.

So what does Independence Day mean to you? For some, it’s about waving flags and shouting "Merdeka" at midnight, for others, it’s about renewing your love for the tanah air, and for most, it’s a day to sleep in and pig out.

Too lazy to think of some awe-inspiring Merdeka Day blog post. Too ignorant about current affairs of the country. Let’s all close one eye and pretend I already wrote the post. ;p

Happy Independence everyone.

Check out Patrick Teoh’s blog. (Use Google to find the site lah.)

I’ve got a confession. hee hee. I get kinda nervous with free time on my hands. Yeah.

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Hhahah… ha. It’s like the calm before a storm. There’s always a naggy feeling in my sub-conscious telling me that I’ve forgotten to complete something. It’s as though the free time I have is for me to actually prepare for the whole tosh of work I’ve to settle the next day. Oh my. I’m obsessed with work.

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Incident 1:

So me friend came back from a holiday in Eastern Europe (Austria, Czech Republic and….. and… er, can’t recall… o yeah, Hungary.) and returned with a smashing pack of souvenirs. Gracias amigo. My favourite one in the bag was this keychain which said

"TOP WORKAHOLIC"

(LOL. Really like that one.)

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Incident 2:

Rushing around today trying to complete some secretarial stuff and had to rush for class. And well well, the teacher did not enter. Hah. (Gripe: I rush to class and in the end, there isn’t one. =.=) So, taking advantage of the free period, I settled down to complete more tosh. (read: paperwork, homework, blah blah blah etc.) And a friend passes by and says "You never rest do yeh? Learn to chill."

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Incident 3:

Bit later, I was still doing work. Dunno what made me turn and glance at the class. And two friends were looking at moi (hah!) and then they said

"STOP DOING WORK" 

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I’ve evolved into a workaholic and I’m not even holding a job yet! And I stress easily. All the work and stuff makes me push away other things into the back of my mind. Thinking that I’ll settle the more urgent work first and think about other stuff later. Thing is, work is omnipresent. It’s everywhere and it never settles. Once you finish something, another comes up. So, voila, there will not be time to think of the "other stuff". And so it bottles up. And it keeps filling up but I think, heck, I’ll manage, I’ll keep it under control.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

I read this article in the papers today. (Well, the article was about suicide. I’m NOT going to commit suicide lah. Seriously. I don’t want some psychiatrist pointing to this post and say "This. This is a sign that Stephanie was in need of help. It was a plea, a cry for help but… it fell on deaf ears." wth. No, really, I WILL NOT COMMIT SUICIDE.)

Erk, distraction. Coming back to the article, there was a line there which said, "There is always something else going on -feelings of helplessness, hopelessness. The bucket is full and then something apparently trivial -a fight, a boyfriend who ends a relationship- can be the last drop."

Well, there ya go. Something to explain why I become extremely moody (I believe the term used now is "emo"?) over the seemingly small things. And that’s when I scare people. There was a time when I had a er… breakdown? Started crying for no apparent reason one day. (Weh, what’s this.. Don’t avoid me lah, I’m still sane okay. Well, sane by my standards if you get what I mean. heheh..)

Simply put, there are times when I feel that I have too much to handle and everything just keeps piling and piling and piling and blah blah blah etc. until I feel like a pressure cooker which has been overused, ready to explode anytime.

(huhu.. Imagine.. A bit of brain matter here, a bit of skin there, some bone fragments… WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…wth. lol)

I need a break.   

Dear JD,

I’m a B.I.G fan of you. Saw you perform at the concert on the 18th of August; it was REALLY REALLY GOOD. The energy, the passion; anyone can see that you are perfect for the band. People may call you conceited and cocky… But it’s evident that you have a soft side in you, and I love that. I love the fact that you’ve got a black belt in taekwando, you’re a vegetarian, and how much you care for your family. Mostly, I just love… you.

Stephanie.

Dear JD,

I love the song "Perfect Strangers". I love the song "Pretty Vegas". I love the song "Afterglow". I love you.

Stephanie.

Dear JD,

I love your energy. I love your passion. I love your soft side. I love you.

Stephanie.

Dear JD,

You’re hot.

Stephanie.

Bloody hell, I sounded like I’m on some mind-altering substance in the previous post. swt. Well well, don’t worry, I’m still the same, (in)sane person. heh.

The INXS concert was good. As in, amazinglyincrediblyfantastically GOOD. And.. Let me say that JD Fortune, lead singer of INXS is really, really… hot. He’s SO NOT GAY OKAY!!! SO NOT GAY! Incredibly Hot.

This will be a most memorable public duty experience. The concert was at Stadium Negara. Relatively small place but a good one for the concert. Air-conditioned and it was an indoor concert thankfully. I was posted at the topmost floor so, view wasn’t that great but hey, at least didn’t have to squeeze with sweaty bodies and breathe in stale air. The opening act was a bit… lacklustre. Didn’t even know who they were… heheheheh… oops. But they made INXS look so so so sooooo good onstage. It started with a *bang* and the energy! The lead singer (;p) was sodamnfreaking energetic that I felt like throwing all caution to the wind and just jump and scream and dance with the crowd.

And then I remember that I’m on duty, wearing a uniform and surrounded by officers. =.= Ahhhhh…

If I hadn’t wiki-ed the band the night before the concert, I’d have thought that it was a new band. But NOOO, it’s a band formed all the way in 1977! But the lead singer joined the band quite recently… (oh, go wiki them yourself) All of the band members are talented. There was this dude who can really, and I mean, REALLY, play the saxophone. omegoodness… The drummer is also a reallyamazingandgood… drummer. Gosh. But of course, I’m only besotted with the lead singer. ;p Lurve that guy.  Hands off people!

HE’S NOT GAY DAMMIT!!! 

(If… pa and ma accidentally read this… the real Stephanie is away on vacation in Hawaii. hee hee hee..) (Note to future self; If you’re laughing hysterically at this… then so be it.)

The first words. The first impressions. These are the strongest things which play into our memory. Impressions can change, words can change; but the first words, the first impressions; they never do. Not even when our conscious tweaks them; bending and pushing, eventually moulding them into what we want them to be. No. Beneath it, beneath the conscious memories of first words and first impressions, beneath the changed and polished thoughts, lies the subconscious memories; the real ones, the ones unaldultered, unchanged and untouched. We push them away, push them into the farthest, remotest place of our mind; but they are there. And so they shall remain, until we choose to take them out, until we choose to release our supressed thoughts, to free them… Until we decide to revert to our conscious. Then, we lock up those memories. Subject them to the dark recesses of our mind, pushing them away, deserting them… And wait for the next liberation, that which we secretly indulge in, throwing all pretence away… Because everyone needs some form of escapism.

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I cannot describe how I feel. Detached, perhaps. Reflective, maybe. Vulnerable, open, numb. Lonely? Possibly… The building up and restraining of feelings, the flicker of attachement, putting out that flicker, dousing it with denial and pushing it quietly away into the dark corners, locking it away into a stronghold, wishing to be rid of it and yet, secretly waiting for the day where it can be released and accepted without questioning, without doubt, without cynism… To be able to just embrace it and hold on to it and letting it wash over. To let it flow free like a burst of strong wind, like a roar of fire, like a gush of waves… To throw everything away and just let it be.. Until then, it should remain in the dark corner.

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*sigh* Maybe it’s the lack of ice-cream. Amusing how I hate those cheesy, so-called deep, amatuerish, hormone-driven posts by pseudo-depressed teens and then creating one of them myself. Hypocrite. It’s the lack of ice-cream. Yeap, that’s it. Lack of ice-cream.

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There. It was done. She did not care, did not want to know about what they thought. Let it be. The hint of a smile played across the corners of her cheeks. It was done. Let it be. She looked across the sunny street and the smile formed. Doves flew above, a gentle wind blew, trees waved and the smell of fresh pastry teased around the sidewalk cafe. Children played about at the park across. She stood up, still smiling, and walked across. He took her hand and they walked down the sunny street. It was done. Let it be.

Taken your ascorbic acid? Vitamin C gets oxidised and is released by the body daily so you’ve to replenish your supply everyday.

wth.

Haven’t been online much. Lots of stuff to do. Anw, did my English oral test on Monday. Thought it might be interesting to jot it down and guffaw at it in twenty years time. Ye gawsh, wonder what my child(ren) will say eh? Oh well, here goes…

Good morning to Pn. See and all of you. (briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!! -school bell-) When Pn. See was telling us about the oral test, she mentioned two things. One, is that we can talk about anything we like, and two, we will not be judged on the accuracy of our facts. So, today, I will be talking about something which I do not know very well myself, but I am learning more and more about it everyday. Em, today, I will be talking about… myself.

I am… a human being, a homo sapien, and NOT an alien, as claimed by Joyce. I am a relatively boring person. In fact, if there was a competition for the most boring organism on earth, I’d win it hands down. This can be proven by my subject for last year’s oral; I talked about my hobby, which is sleeping.

Regardless of what you may think, I am not a bullimic person, I am not anorexic and I am not interested in breast enlargement surgery.

I am seriously under-travelled, having only been overseas once in my entire life. Believe it or not, I have never been to Singapore, Thailand, or even, Indonesia. I like reading, especially fictional… er.. fiction. I also like reading The Star newspaper.

My family does not subscribe to Astro; I have only been to the cinema four times my entire life, I have never been to any specialty coffee outlets; no Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Gloria Jean. I have never been to Baskin Robbins, nor have I ever had a Secret Recipe birthday cake.

I will be (age undisclosed here) on the 18th of November. I share the same birthday with Pn. Wang. My birthday is one day before Ilyia’s birthday… and.. yeah, that’s about it. Thank you.

Five questions asked by classmates/teacher (in random order) :

- Where have you been? I mean, overseas. (by Nicholas)

China.

- What do you do at home? (Ivan? or Joel?)

erm.. I indulge in my hobby. Sleeping.

- How many hours do you study in a day? (sorry, can’t recall who asked…)

Erm.. You probably won’t believe this, no one ever does; I don’t study. *insert calls of "Liar lah you!"*

- Means… You do your homework and then sleep? But.. I do that too.. How come… (by Khairy)

Er.. Yeah… Just… concentrate in class…?

Actually, I can’t recall whether the questions are correct… Something along the lines of all that I guess. Blimey.. I really said all that?

-shoot. Battery supply low. Got to log off now.-

Halt. Just charge the battery for awhile. Have classes tomorrow anyway.. Then attending meeting (officer’s going to be present! erk.) And then… Going for duty at… INXS CONCERT. Mwhahaha… Thing is, I’ve never heard any of their songs. Hee hee hee… Faces steaming with jealousy eh?

Have you heard any INXS songs? Are they good? Eh.. At least I’ve heard of the band okay! (at least, I did… when Rockstar:INXS came out. HAH! Don’t know what’s that? Hee hee.. See? lol.. Rockstar:INXS is the reality SHOW where the BAND, INXS, was finding for a lead singer.) Just wiki-ed INXS.. Ye gawsh.. Look!

INXS (pronounced "In Excess") is an Australian rock group. The band was formed in 1977 and comprised of the late Michael Hutchence (lead vocals), Andrew Farriss (guitar and keyboards), Tim Farriss (b. August 16, 1957, in Perth, Western Australia, Australia) (lead guitar), Jon Farriss (drums), Garry Gary Beers (bass), and Kirk Pengilly (b. July 4, 1958, in Kew, Victoria, Australia) (saxophone and guitar). On September 20, 2005, Canadian singer J.D. Fortune became the band’s new lead vocalist after a twelve-week competition on the CBS reality show Rock Star: INXS.

  Source : Wikipedia

1977?! wow. My dad was… 16…? Hah.. And now, I’m the one going for their concert? ooo…

Haven’t been online much these days. Been sick. Just got a headache after recess one day and it prolonged into a fever, cough and mild sore throat. Hate being sick; can’t eat practically everything, except porridge. Nearly lost my voice; it was turning raspy and all.. The worst part about being sick…

NO ICE CREAM.

*sigh*.

Being melancholy. wth. School’s such a draaaaaaaaaag… It’s been PEKA week; Bio, Chem and Physics. PEKA, PEKA and PEKA. Come to think of it.. I love physics. wth. hahah.. Starting to love, more like it. Got a really good teacher this year. A teacher is really the one who makes or breaks a student’s interest in a subject, i.e. You can be studying the most boring subject on Earth like… The Principles of Communication of the Stoneage or something but if the teacher is astoundingly bombastic, you wouldn’t care. In fact, you’d remember all 33 principles such as grunting during the ooga-booga dance can earn you two mammoth hides. =.= wth.

zahzhazhaaaaaa………………………..

la di da di da… for those of you who haven’t exited this blog already, please wish me a speedy recovery to stop me from being so lame. Well, lamer than usual. sigh.