Betwixt-isms

I’ve got a confession. hee hee. I get kinda nervous with free time on my hands. Yeah.

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Hhahah… ha. It’s like the calm before a storm. There’s always a naggy feeling in my sub-conscious telling me that I’ve forgotten to complete something. It’s as though the free time I have is for me to actually prepare for the whole tosh of work I’ve to settle the next day. Oh my. I’m obsessed with work.

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Incident 1:

So me friend came back from a holiday in Eastern Europe (Austria, Czech Republic and….. and… er, can’t recall… o yeah, Hungary.) and returned with a smashing pack of souvenirs. Gracias amigo. My favourite one in the bag was this keychain which said

"TOP WORKAHOLIC"

(LOL. Really like that one.)

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Incident 2:

Rushing around today trying to complete some secretarial stuff and had to rush for class. And well well, the teacher did not enter. Hah. (Gripe: I rush to class and in the end, there isn’t one. =.=) So, taking advantage of the free period, I settled down to complete more tosh. (read: paperwork, homework, blah blah blah etc.) And a friend passes by and says "You never rest do yeh? Learn to chill."

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Incident 3:

Bit later, I was still doing work. Dunno what made me turn and glance at the class. And two friends were looking at moi (hah!) and then they said

"STOP DOING WORK" 

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I’ve evolved into a workaholic and I’m not even holding a job yet! And I stress easily. All the work and stuff makes me push away other things into the back of my mind. Thinking that I’ll settle the more urgent work first and think about other stuff later. Thing is, work is omnipresent. It’s everywhere and it never settles. Once you finish something, another comes up. So, voila, there will not be time to think of the "other stuff". And so it bottles up. And it keeps filling up but I think, heck, I’ll manage, I’ll keep it under control.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

I read this article in the papers today. (Well, the article was about suicide. I’m NOT going to commit suicide lah. Seriously. I don’t want some psychiatrist pointing to this post and say "This. This is a sign that Stephanie was in need of help. It was a plea, a cry for help but… it fell on deaf ears." wth. No, really, I WILL NOT COMMIT SUICIDE.)

Erk, distraction. Coming back to the article, there was a line there which said, "There is always something else going on -feelings of helplessness, hopelessness. The bucket is full and then something apparently trivial -a fight, a boyfriend who ends a relationship- can be the last drop."

Well, there ya go. Something to explain why I become extremely moody (I believe the term used now is "emo"?) over the seemingly small things. And that’s when I scare people. There was a time when I had a er… breakdown? Started crying for no apparent reason one day. (Weh, what’s this.. Don’t avoid me lah, I’m still sane okay. Well, sane by my standards if you get what I mean. heheh..)

Simply put, there are times when I feel that I have too much to handle and everything just keeps piling and piling and piling and blah blah blah etc. until I feel like a pressure cooker which has been overused, ready to explode anytime.

(huhu.. Imagine.. A bit of brain matter here, a bit of skin there, some bone fragments… WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…wth. lol)

I need a break.   

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 at 9:06 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.